She Walks in Jello

Happy New Year folks. Maybe you need a little motivation (or a little humor) to move you towards your New Year's weight-loss goals, or maybe you just want to be amused as you go on eating butter (I definitely fall in the latter camp--as well as going for long runs in the park and biking around Brooklyn. Eat well but get out & play too!). In either case, in lieu of She Walks in Beauty, Lord Byron's lovely ode to a lovely lady, I present you with:

She Walks in Jello

She walks in jello, like a piece
Of chocolate cake and chicken pies
And all that's best of fat and grease
Meet in her tummy & her thighs;
Thus inflated to obese,
Which heaven to scrawny sticks denies.

One pound the more, the more to see.
No belt impairs the ample grace
Of waves which roll her stomach's sea,
Flabby flesh from feet to face
Where settles each new calorie.
How vast, steadfast, their dwelling place.

And on these cheeks and o're those hips,
So soft, that rub'ry element.
Chubs that squish through fingertips,
And tell of days in glut'ny spent.
A body built to budge and dip,
A mouth whose use is evident.

Bon Appetite!