Day in the Life of a Faux Gourmet

See how this Faux Gourmet keeps it real

Taste & See:  You know how some times your fridge is just kind of sad?  Not empty, per se, but the ingredients in it don't naturally lend themselves to concoting a meal?  Mine has things like: caramel sauce, fudge sauce, pickled radishes, chutney, soy milk, chicken broth, sourdough starter, corn tortillas, curry paste, and about 30 kinds of sauces in various jars and bottles. Yu-ummmmy. Um, OK.  

Never fear.  There's no need to skip breakfast, go out for lunch & order take-out for dinner (you know who you are...).  Not when you're a faux gourmet.  A Faux Gourmet, mon cherie, beholds an empty fridge and sees an opportunity.  I mean, how else do you think I came upon my classic, much beloved "Tortilla PBJ Crepes?" [On a similar note, see here:]  Yeah. That's what I thought.

Breakfast:  No photo, but it was a sight to behold.  First, the starting ingredients:  

• Old ketchup from Pomme de Terre that I kept after throwing away the leftover fries because it was Just That Good. 
• End of a loaf of bread from a party almost 2 weeks ago. Yeah. I kept it. I've been dutifully eating as much bread as I can to slog through my overactive bread supply but there you have it; I can only eat so much toast. 
• Beautiful Feather Ridge Farm eggs, purchased at Northern Spy Food Co. (the restaurant has a little market in back). 
• Leftover cheeses from said party. 
• Leftover guacamole, from a different party.  I host lots of gatherings, which leaves me with lots of random foods.   It's what I do.
  

Nothing to eat? No sir. In fact, this Faux Gourmet made a ... Mexican-American Eggs Benedict. Or something like that.  Start an egg a-poaching.  Toast slice of bread, spread ketchup & add cheese, toast some more.  Top with egg.  Top that with a dollop of guacamole. Voila!  It helps that the egg is a beautiful, beautiful egg.  The uber-yellow runny yolk over the guacamole is kind of heavenly, you heard it here first.

Lunch: 99 cent Paneer Makhani, procured from Jackson Heights grocery store.  I've had this box in my desk drawer at work for a while, waiting for "one of those days."  It's one of those days.  

I've had this box in my desk drawer at work for a while, waiting for "one of those days."  It's one of those days.  But want to know what 99 cents bought me?

"The simple splendor of Indian cottage cheese in a creamy tomato sauce romanced with a light bouquet herb, kasuri methi, works wonders.  Relish with Tandoori naan bread."

Romanced with??? How do they afford to sell for 99 cents when they pay writers like that? I present for your romancing pleasure, my 99 cent  Paneer Makhani.

Pretty good deal! Really tasty and flavorful, exactly as you'd expect with all that romancing going on.  Paneer texture a bit rubbery but it did come in a box.  Also not the most filling of lunches (there are about 5 paneer cubes & I didn't have the foresight to bring rice), but that's OK; I have leftover eggplant bruschetta from a recent picnic...

Dinner:  "Crashing" reception at a law school reunion reception.  Not really crashing, since I'm invited, but let's be honest:  I'm going for the free cheap wine & canapes before dashing off for more free wine at an art school show.  Here I'm actually going for the show; the free wine is just a side benefit.  Win-win!